19th
Calling all Keyboard Warriors
Even though I’m a trained killer*, I sometimes worry about how the rest of my generation would fair on the battlefield. I have it on good (non-Palestinian) authority that the reason Hamas took a good bashing is because many of them were trying out the latest bullet dodging technique, known as “bunny hopping”. Between this and homemade missiles that looked straight out of the young scientist of the year exhibition (or macgyver) it’s no wonder that they, as the kids these days put it, got pwned!
There were reports of a soldier in Iraq asking if it was possible that should he receive a non-fatal bullet wound, could he be given something that would automatically make him whip out his pistol and fire it at the enemy, or at the very least, drop a live ‘nade? Questioning his madness, the soldier admitted that he got the idea from the Call of Duty 4 perk system, assuming it to be true. Laughed out of the armoury, the man promptly told his 25 year old Commanding Officer, who immediately launched an investigation as to why these perks didn’t exist, as the number of XP (Experience Points) he had gained using them was immense!
Military abbreviations would take a thrashing too, consisting mostly of LMAO, LOL, and if things go tits up, WTF, while radio conversations would start with “Are you on facebook”, instead of the traditional “Hullo”. Should the finger actually remain out of the arse long enough to get a fix on the enemy, an airstrike would be sure to follow. Would they call it in, fuck no, they’d text it!
Something like “bmd da pl8ce der gryd n 9er31 ate12” should do the trick.
Here’s hoping all those keyboard warriors out there stick with what they’re good at!
* No confirmed kills as of Jan 09
