5th
Pain in my face!
Hearing bad news from the man is always, well, bad! What takes the biscuit, however, is when this bad news is appended by “we would like to apologise for any inconvenience this may cause”. Have you ever listened to what came before this fucking ridiculous phrase and not been inconvenienced by it? Me neither.
Announcement “your head will explode in 30 seconds. We would like to apologise for any inconvenience this may cause”. Hmm, am I inconvenienced here? The fact I’m able to process this potentially inconvenient information is because I have a brain. Don’t know about you but my brain is stored in my head, for at least another 30 seconds anyway. Not meaning to jump the gun, but I’m feeling a bit inconvenienced here and let me tell you …
The real phrase should be “We’re not really sorry at all for the inconvenience this is bound to cause you because if we were, I’m sure we could have prevented it from happening in the first place. The reason we need to feign concern is something to do with customer service, which doesn’t really exist in Ireland anyway. With this in mind, stick it up your hole and suck it up!”
I hope you enjoyed this little rant. If not, apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused!
